Captain Haddie’s favourite curses are:
Plunkin thunnerplumps!
Muckle michtie marmaids!

If he is SAIR SCUNNERT, he says:
A hunner thoosan plunkin thunnerplumps!
Muckle michtie maroonjous marmaids!
Monie millions o muckle michtie maroonjous marmaids!

If he is scunnert AT somebodie, he skirls:

bizzin bumbaleerie!
bumplefyke!
clishmaclaver!
curliewurlie!
dub-skelper!
figmaleerie!
forkietail!
gandiegow!
gowkspittle!
gutter-partan!
hallockit heckum-peckum!
oorie eariwig!
pottersneeshin!
ragabash!
spurtle-grup!
stookie plaister!
tattie-beetle!
tattie-bogle!
tumshie-gowk!
unhairy oobit!
wallydraigle!

… and a hantle ither things forby!

Captain Haddie’s forefaither, Sir Graeme Haddie, also says:
Pauchle my Parritch!

And he skirls at pirates:
gaberlunzie!
pock-pitten puddin!
prancin papingo!
sour-faced sourock!
tatterwallop!
trumpt-up tammie norrie!